Shortly after preschool let out for the summer, Harry asked me if he could do his “school papers” at home. I was a little surprised that he asked although he does have a lot of friends that homeschool. Chris looked at me and said “you should do it!”. So, we started researching homeschooling options. Both Chris and I went to public school, and we had already registered Harry for Kindergarten and done an orientation day. I prayed about it, and I felt peace about the decision to do it. Looking back, I think Harry became quite anxious about Kindergarten prior to our decision because that’s all he would talk about.
Harry has had his own struggles since his brother’s death. I’ve debated for awhile if I should write about it because it’s more personal than say, Kellan’s birth weight and growth updates. I’m comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings, but it has never felt right to share all of Harry’s personal struggles. If you are family or close friends, you know what struggles to which I am referring. If we were talking in person, I would talk to you about it if it came up or you asked.
So our talkative, extraverted, all-boy, Harry has some big feelings and big worries along with some specific struggles. When we officially told him we were going to homeschool, he was like a different child but in great ways! Things we had struggled with just kind of disappeared. I really think he was so anxious about going to kindergarten that the things he struggles with were getting worse prior to our decision. And we have had a good summer! However, those things he struggles with have crept back into our lives just recently, and we are taking steps to get some professional help for him. I have been reading and researching things trying to help him navigate his life better. The good thing is I KNOW it can be better for him as we experienced earlier in the summer. I felt that sending him away from me to Kindergarten would just further traumatize him as one struggle he has is separation anxiety. He will tell you “I’m doing school at home because I would miss my mom too much” I’m totally not saying sending your child to Kindergarten is traumatizing them, but sending mine when I had the option to do it at home felt wrong. We will see after this year if he wants to continue homeschool or try public school.
So we officially started yesterday. The kids in our county started school today. I was thinking about them and praying for some of our friends. Some are excited, some are nervous and tearful, and some were sobbing about having to go. I felt more peaceful about our decision. And I had been preparing my heart for the last year gearing up to help Harry start Kindergarten! But this afternoon, we did our school and then we snuggled on the couch as Harry watched one of his fav. shows while Kellan napped. I felt extremely thankful to live in a place where we have the freedom to choose the best for our children.
I hope this year will be healing for Harry. I want him to know peace, God’s peace. And I want him to learn and have fun! Sometimes I want him to stop talking all the time but that’s not gonna happen! 😉
The Peace Of God, Which Surpasses All Understanding, Will Guard Your Hearts And Minds Through Christ Jesus: Philippians 4:7